I feel a little more positive now, back from a reasonable afternoon with Caitlyn and Joel, searching for halloween costume supplies.
I was supposed to have gone to meet the cool artist woman about the shared studio rental, but she called shortly before we were going to meet and asked, coyly, if there was any way we could reschedule. I felt this amazing freedom as I said "Yeah absolutely! I'm a little pressed for time, myself!" when really I was thinking "Cool, I can go have a leisurely breakfast with my friends neener neener!" and so we rescheduled for Monday. I forgot to mention that she and I went to the same school, but she seemed in a hurry to get off the phone.
So we went tromping down the street, and Caitlyn got in to an abandoned shopping cart and I pushed her a ways in it while she spazzed out dramatically and I was laughing and watching people watching us pass by. One cool old toothless guy exclaimed something about "I'd buy that pretty little thing! Take it back!" and laughed and smiled his gummy smile at us. We went to the creepy/cool Chinese American Cafe and got cheap diner food for breakfast and then we headed towards Haight Street after eating and reading yesterday's paper.
I hate it when you go in to a shop, you have cash on hand and actually want to buy their schlocky wares and they follow you around and eye you suspiciously and ask weird questions when you grab something you want to purchase like you're some recalcitrant shoplifting wastrel and you'll rob them blind if they don't hassle you the entire time you're in the store. Sheesh. It makes me not want to buy things, it makes me want to pointedly not buy things. Like, grab a bunch of clothes and crap, take out my money and make them ring me up and then say "Oh I changed my mind, you judgmental retail fucknut, have a nice day" and walk out. But I never do anything like that, because I am a consumer and therefore, a slave. I suffer to get my t-shirts!
Caitlyn wound up getting some amazing huge boots and I found some less-huge boots I might go back and buy some day. I really need new shoes but i'm amazingly picky about what i'll wear. I just want some work boots, or some thick-soled high-heeled combat boots or something. Not a complicated thing! Nothing weird! But I have a hard time finding just the right plain kind of boot. Stupid.
I bought some wisconsin cheddar cheese to have with apples.
I didn't go to Santa Cruz tonight, either.