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Fucking hearse chasers

In today's (snail)mail:

Heir Buyout Company

Re: Estate of Susan G. _________
Case PR_____, Santa Cruz County

Dear Heir:

Heir Buyout Company can provide you with cash prior to distribution of the above mentioned estate. If you need funds for any purpose, let our Heir Purchase Specialists explain the program. We would like to introduce ourselves as a possible resource.

There is no obligation or upfront costs and we can complete most purchases in 10 business days or less.

If you would like more information, please call us at:

If you have a need for our financial services, we look forward to helping you.


Some Dickhead
Some Dickhead
Heir Purchasing Specialist

AND what's more, they mispelled my name! I can't help but think of Lionel Hutz.


( 6 uh-ohs — Make a mess )
Apr. 18th, 2002 02:04 pm (UTC)
Apr. 18th, 2002 02:06 pm (UTC)
Re: :
It's so evil. Their evil tagline is Accelerating Your Financial Future. Yuck. I am going to call them up and berate them and their evil ways.
Apr. 19th, 2002 01:42 pm (UTC)
Re: :
I'd like to accelerate their financial future, preferably at 32 feet/sec/sec.
Apr. 19th, 2002 10:50 pm (UTC)
Re: :
Well put! I would have just said "Wow, those assholes can seriously eat a dick."
Apr. 19th, 2002 12:48 am (UTC)
God. That's so fucking wrong.
Apr. 19th, 2002 02:10 am (UTC)
Business as Usual, more like
Yeah well, that's Corporate "Fuck You, There's Profit To Be Had" America for you. Death is just another lucrative business.
( 6 uh-ohs — Make a mess )