caffeinatrix (caffeina) wrote,

Fun Foto Friday

I've been stressed out and unhappy lately, but it's this very vague "I need to get my shit together and fast" sort of unhappiness. I haven't gotten very far with any of the goals I've set for myself recently. Being unproductive and creatively stagnant is doing a number on my self-image. I'm having strange anxiety nightmares every night, and feeling guilty and angry with myself when I wake up. I'm actually avoiding people, actively avoiding social interaction because I don't feel like I can offer much of anything conversationally or otherwise. I feel like my anger and unhappiness is very close to the surface, and it seeps out and taints the mood wherever I go. When someone invites me to a party, or a movie, or anything, I'm immediately thinking of a way out of it. It feels like all I do lately is make excuses. I know that this sort of thing sort of cycles around and builds on itself, and I'm aware of how illogical it sounds, but I can't seem to find the exit.

It's really awful, it can't continue, and I need to just snap the hell out of it.

I'm trying to get the motivation together to go downtown to have some of my digital photographs printed. If I can get them finished in time, they'll go up on a wall for a little show. If not, well, too bad.

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