caffeinatrix (caffeina) wrote,
caffeinatrix
caffeina

Fun Foto Friday

I've been stressed out and unhappy lately, but it's this very vague "I need to get my shit together and fast" sort of unhappiness. I haven't gotten very far with any of the goals I've set for myself recently. Being unproductive and creatively stagnant is doing a number on my self-image. I'm having strange anxiety nightmares every night, and feeling guilty and angry with myself when I wake up. I'm actually avoiding people, actively avoiding social interaction because I don't feel like I can offer much of anything conversationally or otherwise. I feel like my anger and unhappiness is very close to the surface, and it seeps out and taints the mood wherever I go. When someone invites me to a party, or a movie, or anything, I'm immediately thinking of a way out of it. It feels like all I do lately is make excuses. I know that this sort of thing sort of cycles around and builds on itself, and I'm aware of how illogical it sounds, but I can't seem to find the exit.

It's really awful, it can't continue, and I need to just snap the hell out of it.

I'm trying to get the motivation together to go downtown to have some of my digital photographs printed. If I can get them finished in time, they'll go up on a wall for a little show. If not, well, too bad.
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