caffeinatrix (caffeina) wrote,
caffeinatrix
caffeina

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Tuesday, Word Play

So, today I am once again operating on less-than-sufficient amounts of sleep. It's giving me a fun combination of Museum-Head and Stress-Headache along with a very persistent introspective melancholy. I'm generally noticing a lot less misery these days, and feeling much more capable of dealing with everything. Not to say that I'm necessarily rocking the hell out of life, but i'm not hopeless anymore, which helps. A lot. (hooray, paxil)

I am feeling like I need a sidekick. Or something new to take up the empty spots and divert my focus outward, away from the rut. Feeling isolated and yearning for connection. I'm a lot more social now than in previous months and all but it's all so temporal, fleeting. I am to blame for this, of course, but I think it's been a negative trend and I am attacking the root of these issues.

hooray and stuff.

I'm still very secretive about some shit, but that's my job.

Suck it!

Maybe i'll start talking more shit and make frequent use of a borrowed term from postmaudlin: [data embargo]

Today I went shopping. But first I saw a Matinee. Not a Manatee, idiot! A Matinee showing of a movin' pitcher. Word Play. It's a pretty sweet little film about crosswords. And a guy sporting a sweet TROGDOR t-shirt, aw yeah.

I think i've been far too critical of myself. I have become conditioned to really being negative, disappointed and cruel when regarding myself, my life, my appearance, my abilities... Fuck that, i'm awesome. If I met myself, I would be really impressed in weird surprising ways. This isn't entirely true, I don't feel it all the time. I have felt more like I enjoy my own company than much of the past 5 years. :-/
Tags: insights, introspection, personal
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