June 18th, 2004


(no subject)

butt shaft
Function: noun
: a target arrow without a barb

shaft v 1. to steal. ("He shafted my pen") Submitted by Jacki Stockinger, Kimball, MN, 11-03-1998.
booty-cheddar n 1. nonsense; BULL-SHIT. ("He was spittin' booty-cheddar.") Submitted by Cari P, Union, NJ, USA, 06-10-2001.
bounce v 1. to leave. ("This party is whack! Let's bounce.") Submitted by C. M., PA, USA, 20-10-1997.
ghetto booty n 1. extremely large buttocks. ("She had a ghetto booty.") Submitted by Justin Nathonson, Dallas, TX, USA, 26-11-2002.
spaz n 1. a person who often acts in an irrational or spontaneous fashion. -v 1. to react with extreme or irrational distress or composure.
spaz out v 1. to react with extreme or irrational distress or composure.
spich adj 1. so weird that it can't even be described. ("You are acting so spich.") Submitted by Paul Jacobs, 27-01-1998.
tore up adj 1. extremely drunk.
tor up adj 1. inebriated.

Random "i'm awake at 4:30 in the damned morning" stuff

I just did something terrible and wrong. Something I haven't done in over 3 months.

I watched TELEVISION. On purpose! Of course, I was selective. I wound up only watching COPS for about 2 minutes, switching over to MTV and catching the last bit of a really mean thing called Boiling Points where they try to piss people off and make fun of their righteous indignation by rewarding patience and kindness with HUNDRED DOLLAR BILLS. Wow. People will apparently watch anything! I'm far too detached and full of ironic posturing to watch TV without contextualizing everything like some weird sociological postmodernist. Then I did the right thing, and watched the Cartoon Network. God damnit, I really like The Family Guy. I was laughing and enjoying televised entertainment and consuming red meat. Well, a pizza with meat on it. I'm feeling less iron deficient and more like a good old-fashioned american consumer.

Thank god that's over, huh?

Now i'm listening to mp3s by Chris Hardwick, because mikebee turned me on to this brilliant "Rodeohead" medley in his recent post. Chris Hardwick wins my confused-but-mildly aroused award, because he looks all like, "sensitive" and "geeky" but he's pure Hollywood and he swears. He also wrote the following in his bio on his website: *Sometimes for fun, I’ll make love to a heated jar of peanut butter while clutching a magazine perfume sample close to my nose. *In Tennessee I have an uncle named Hambone, named not so much for his zealous love of pork, as he is named for his large misshapen cock. OMG. And he hosted that horrible shipwreck of a dating show, "Shipmates", and I will freely admit to being a fan although I should probably be ashamed of myself. I liked it because of the hardcore mockery and quality schadenfreude.

Anyhow, to continue to pimp this guy out for some reason, here's what he's said about the Rodeohead mp3:
"As of 5:09am, Saturday morning, 5/29, Hard 'n Phirm's hick-tacular medley "Rodeohead" had been downloaded somewhere about 25,000 times, and I'm not using that number in the "comedy exaggeration" sense. That rocks our balls because we put it up less than 48 hours before that. Please continue to pass it on, perhaps to a lonely friend, or perhaps to your local college, alternative or country radio station, even."
"About a year ago, my good friend and bandmate Mike Phirman and I thought it would be entertaining to form a bluegrass Radiohead cover band called "Rodeohead." See, it's funny cause it's a play on words. For purposes of convenience and brevity, we instead put together one mammoth five-minute medley containing segments of seventeen Yorke/Greenwood gems. We did, however, stick with the bluegrass idea. I had wanted to put it on my upcoming comedy CD, "Blood Pudding," but fuck it. Here it is for free. I just want people to hear it and pass it around if they find it non-sucky. Radiohead is my favorite band and what better way to honor them than by running their music through the beer-swilling, ass-kicking hick-filter of my homeland, the American South. Take a spin over to the Hard ‘n Phirm website and ENJOY"

ok I also just got email from orkut:

You have 75 friends:
- 6 best friends
- 19 good friends
- 10 friends
- 15 acquaintances

Tomorrow night, i'm going with djdigit and ostensibly tjcrowley to Santa Cruz, to my childhood home, as a guest of the current resident, my tenant and formerly-estranged ex-boyfriend lu3ke to attend his going-away party. Can I have a weirder life please? Needless to say I will miss him, and it sucks a whole lot of ass that he's leaving California. I have a lot of very weird mixed feelings about the house and Santa Cruz and getting drunk should be a fun thing to do and maybe I can wind up crying and making people feel weird. Yay!!! Not really. I might get kind of maudlin though. I'm good at maudlin.

I'm really looking forward to the weekend, because I kind of want to spend about 17 hours in bed alternately napping, making kitty noises and spaz-snuggling with djdigit. That's really about all I want to do, and maybe, and this is a distant maybe, go to this weird Tir Na Nog thing Saturday night and more than likely dance around a loft in SOMA in silly clothes while djdigit spins records. I like my boyfriend and he makes really good cocktails. I'm in a really good mood right now and my bed is full of me, and other soft things like pillows, 2 chubby kitties and big puffy blankets. Now i'm going to burrow under them and go to sleep.
  • Current Music
    Hard n' Phirm - Carbon Cycle
horrified by wrongness!


So I'm getting comfy in bed, and one of my cats started doing the hairball hurl hurk thing, right? So I went to gently shoo him out of my room, and when I did, he PROJECTILE VOMITED ALL OVER MY DOOR.

That was horrific. He's still hurking out in the hallway and I feel horrible for him but too grossed out to be compassionate right this minute.

i am stardust?

metaphorge posted something and I clicked it, and now look at what a mess I made! It's like Oh, surely they ARE talking about ME because it's all glowing praise!

Your personal ruling planets are Mars and Venus.

You are without a doubt a person of strong magnetic presence and will always be at your best when in the company of the other sex.

Your dramatic flair and larger than life gestures attract the attention of those around you and result in your being considered the life of the party.

You are a very devoted family person and loyal to the needs of loved ones. You adhere to the principles of domestic life and the needs of children too.

In matters of finance, you are very capable in stretching a dollar and always appear to be well to do even if you're scratching. Venus being your ruler grants you exceptional taste and refinement in your life choices and attire too!

Music, art and literature will always be an important ingredient of your life!

Your lucky colours are white and cream, rose and pink.

Your lucky gems are diamond, white sapphire or quartz crystal.

Your lucky days of the week Friday, Saturday, Wednesday.

Your lucky numbers and years of important change(???) are 6, 15, 24, 33, 42, 51, 60, 69, 78.

'Famous' people born on your birthday include Moss Hart, Sonny Terry, Jimmy "Fast Fingers"Dawkins, Kevin Kline, Caprice Bourret, Catherine Sutherland and Monica Arnold.
  • Current Music
    Pixies - Gigantic