December 21st, 2001


Nearing 2002

There's a craze sweeping the Livejournal set, everyone is making a list of 5 good things that happened to them in 2001.

I have to say that, in a great many ways, 2001 was a terrible horrible year; I got laid off, my mother died, I'm deeply depressed and can barely find the will to get up in the morning anymore - but there were some high points thrown in with all the crap, so I'll give it a whirl.

1. I met Joel through very unlikely, random methods. We fell in love and are still in it.
2. I didn't contract any diseases.
3. My house didn't burn down.
4. I became a homeowner, kind of, and that house didn't burn down either.
5. I became aware of the importance of friends, and can happily report that most of my friends are well and loved by me.

There are some small, personal victories as well, a new sense of courage and strength, a love for San Francisco, vague plans for my near future but those don't really fit in to the list.

Tomorrow i'm going to drop in at the drop in crisis clinic. I'm at a very low, very awful point. Joel has been here with me, and he's worried, and i'm worried. I've got no energy, no hope, no will. Yesterday I slept for 19 hours or so. Today it took a major gigantic effort to get my shit together enough to get dressed and take a bus downtown to run some errands - of course it was raining sideways and miserable, so it didn't really do me much good. Caitlyn's husband gave me half of a Sertraline, some kind of SSRI as a gift, which was weird, but what the hell, he claimed he could feel the effects within about an hour, and even went so far as to compare it to ecstasy. He's kind of a nutter when it comes to pills, though, so who knows. I didn't really notice any effect whatsoever aside from feeling a little sleepy while I watched weird/bad movies with Archie.

It was the perfect night for movies. We watched The Center of the World, which was better than i'd feared, and the beginning of Moulin Rouge which was far far worse than i'd ever imagined. Good lord what a piece of shit that film is. I hope everyone even remotely involved with that film is doing pennance right now, being poked with hot irons, or something. After a little bit of that awfulness, we watched Behind the Green Door, which is a really pretty great film, and makes me want to seek out more Mitchell Brothers porn. Archie is a dear little pervert and i'm very glad to call him a friend.

Everyone is going somewhere, doing something enormous with their lives right now. I feel kind of left out. I want to do huge things. Taking some night classes at city college and going through Probate on my mother's estate just doesn't seem all that big and interesting.
  • Current Music
    Joel talking about Sass and Glue

Ho Ho Ho hum humbug bug butt

So here I am geeking out in the livingroom on Caitlyn's monster 40 pound soviet laptop while she runs around putting thick multicolored artificial braids in to some poor woman's hair, and we're watching Olive the Other Reindeer. Though it's barely noticeable among all the blinky lights and peewee herman-esque clutter, I have a 3 foot tall red tinsel christmas tree with plastic goldfish, paper cranes and LED lights on it. In a total thrift shopping coup, I topped it off with one of those weird 12" plastic sputnik treetopper things and now it's totally Space Age. Salvation Army rocks my socks. That's about as x-massy i really think i'm going to be this season.

The coolest thing I found today during my adventuring was a copy of Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs for fifty-nine cents. On an unrelated side note, strange people kept stopping to come up and talk to me, telling me all sorts of deeply strange, personal information about themselves. I think I must seem like the sort of person who will sit and listen. Or maybe I look interested. I don't know.

I didn't make it to the walk-in clinic today but they're open tomorrow so i'll go get doped up then.
  • Current Music
    Olive the Other Reindeer