September 27th, 2001


(no subject)

After preparing and packing and waking up early, I ended up not heading down to Santa Cruz. I really don't feel like going down, I know I have to and everything, but i'm just not all fired up about it. As it turns out, after making a mess of phone calls early in the day, I have to be in SF tomorrow. So it all kind of worked out.

I don't really know where all this... laziness, inertia, whatever is coming from. I'm in a bit of a panic, and I keep going through weird shifts in my perspective on everything. Maybe I just need to be medicated for a while. Something to keep me from sitting on my hands in a sort of impotent horror. Something better than blithely ignoring everything. I need to find a middle way.

I spent the last day or so listening while a good friend vented and raged and vented some more about some really unhealthy bitchy gossipy housemate stuff. In a way, I'm really enjoying hearing about someone else's problems for a while, takes me out of myself, pulls me away from scrutinizing my own.

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