Although everyone on Earth has failed to give me even half the accolades and adulation that should go with me, caffeinatrix, being the 3rd coming of christ, I will still fulfill my destiny. For you insolent pukes, I will shed my blood to once again open the gates of heaven.
Start erecting statues, singing songs, scoring touchdowns and doing other shit for my glory, because you fuckers owe me big,
Jesus Christ III
P.S. Please mail my cable bill, it's on the credenza.
rabbitron hipped me to this, it's been a much-needed LJ advance, a Random Suicide Note Generator!