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Tuesday, Word Play

So, today I am once again operating on less-than-sufficient amounts of sleep. It's giving me a fun combination of Museum-Head and Stress-Headache along with a very persistent introspective melancholy. I'm generally noticing a lot less misery these days, and feeling much more capable of dealing with everything. Not to say that I'm necessarily rocking the hell out of life, but i'm not hopeless anymore, which helps. A lot. (hooray, paxil)

I am feeling like I need a sidekick. Or something new to take up the empty spots and divert my focus outward, away from the rut. Feeling isolated and yearning for connection. I'm a lot more social now than in previous months and all but it's all so temporal, fleeting. I am to blame for this, of course, but I think it's been a negative trend and I am attacking the root of these issues.

hooray and stuff.

I'm still very secretive about some shit, but that's my job.

Suck it!

Maybe i'll start talking more shit and make frequent use of a borrowed term from postmaudlin: [data embargo]

Today I went shopping. But first I saw a Matinee. Not a Manatee, idiot! A Matinee showing of a movin' pitcher. Word Play. It's a pretty sweet little film about crosswords. And a guy sporting a sweet TROGDOR t-shirt, aw yeah.

I think i've been far too critical of myself. I have become conditioned to really being negative, disappointed and cruel when regarding myself, my life, my appearance, my abilities... Fuck that, i'm awesome. If I met myself, I would be really impressed in weird surprising ways. This isn't entirely true, I don't feel it all the time. I have felt more like I enjoy my own company than much of the past 5 years. :-/

Comments

( 15 uh-ohs — Make a mess )
(Anonymous)
Jul. 19th, 2006 06:36 am (UTC)
pizza?
caffeina
Jul. 19th, 2006 11:48 am (UTC)
I'm familiar with pizza! Who are you?
st_rev
Jul. 19th, 2006 07:11 am (UTC)
I thought [data embargo] was a nihilistic_kid thing.
caffeina
Jul. 19th, 2006 12:00 pm (UTC)
That motherfucker! Since I met Daphne entirely on NK's coattails and all, I suppose that you could be right, but come on, let the sistahs have one for a change, you misogynist.

I still recall having come across [data embargo] (in the context I wish to apply it) in postmaudlin's eljay.
djdigit
Jul. 19th, 2006 07:56 am (UTC)
> But first I saw a Matinee. Not a Manatee, idiot! A Matinee showing of a movin' pitcher.

Bwuahaha! That cracked me up :)

I'm fine, btw... the "avoiding crazy" was referring to knocking out some long overdue chores which have been building up and driving me crazy/stressing me out.

Glad to hear things are going better... and less critical of yourself is good! :)
caffeina
Jul. 19th, 2006 08:20 am (UTC)
you can call me, jeez
foundsound
Jul. 19th, 2006 02:30 pm (UTC)
Oh, the huge manatee!
caffeina
Jul. 20th, 2006 02:18 am (UTC)
Re: Oh, the huge manatee!
HELP! HELP! I NEED AN ADULT!
radiumhead
Jul. 19th, 2006 10:30 pm (UTC)
Yup.Yer awesome.
gigabites
Jul. 20th, 2006 12:07 am (UTC)
i feel ya

try living in portland oregon and not know a damn soul

this place makes Hayward looks like freakin' disneyland

and with everyone being so damn nice, it's kinda creepy

caffeina
Jul. 20th, 2006 02:19 am (UTC)
Which place?
caffeina
Jul. 20th, 2006 02:20 am (UTC)
Dude did you move to Stripperland, Oregon??
(Deleted comment)
caffeina
Oct. 17th, 2006 11:27 am (UTC)
Yeah man, stealing's alright, except...
That would make you an accessory, like some kind of scroonchy hair thing. With glitter. You sure you're ready for that kind of life?
(Deleted comment)
( 15 uh-ohs — Make a mess )